I Was Only 19, You Were 29
by GailTheFish
Summary: Jim is reminded of a summer fling he had a few years back, but not in the way he hoped.
1. The New Vice President of Sales

_**I was listening to Nothing Left To Lose by The Pretty Reckless and was kinda inspired with a fanfic idea. I'm hoping it'll come together in the end. Enjoy!**_

_**And I don't own The Office or any of the characters.**_

Today, Dunder Mifflin Scranton were being introduced to the company's new Vice President of Sales. The previous VP hadn't been hugely involved with the individual branches but they had been told that getting more involved was something the new VP intended on doing.

Jim wasn't all that bothered about who it was. Michael was meeting them in New York this morning and then they'd drive back here with him to introduce themselves. He guessed that their new boss would be someone either incredibly arrogant, uptight or someone who annoyed them all incredibly.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by Pam, the receptionist,

"Jim, Michael and the new VP are on their way up, look sharp," she mocked him in a tone that Michael Scott himself would use when someone important would make a visit to their office.

"I bet this guy's a real jerk, like Todd Packer. Oh God, please let it not be him," Jim hated Michael's 'best friend' Todd Packer with a passion. Pam grinned, she too hated Todd, but didn't believe the company would be stupid enough to pick someone as grotesque as him.

"Relax, he's a she. You're fine." Pam pointed over to the doorway where Michael had just walked in with a tall, elegantly dressed woman with shoulder length dark blonde hair.

"Whaat?" Jim was confused but this confusion was nothing compared to the horror that suddenly struck him. Luckily Pam didn't notice this and had gone to greet Michael and their new VP.

"Everybody, listen up!" Michael yelled across the office, "This is Jan Levinson-Gould, Dunder Mifflin's new Vice President of Sales. And despite the first impression she gives, she doesn't bite!" He grinned, and turned to Jan. "Take it awaaay!" Jan looked at Michael sternly before turning to her new employees,

"Thank you for that, erm, lovely introduction, Michael. Yes, I am Jan Levinson-Gould, the new Vice President of Sales, which makes me your new boss. I don't know how my predecessor handled business around here, but I want to let you all know that I expect only the best from you and I believe with some hard work you can become the company's most profitable branch. I will talk to you all individually at some point this afternoon to discuss any matters or questions you may have. Thank you, carry on with your work." She flashed them a quick smile before heading with Michael into his office.

"Oh God," Jim leaned onto his desk and put his head in his hands. Surely it couldn't be her? It was 5 years ago now. People change, right? Or maybe it was just a coincidence. No, that had to be her. He couldn't just forget that. What on earth was he supposed to do during the individual talks with her? "Oh God," he whispered to himself again.

* * *

Today was Jan's first day as Dunder Mifflin's Vice President of Sales… how good it felt to say that.

She had always been a hard-worker and very career-driven and after years of climbing the corporate ladder, her hard work had finally paid off. Her marriage was also in good shape at the moment too, which was a real confidence booster. She felt like she could conquer anything when she got out of bed this morning.

She had a meeting with all of the branch managers at Corporate early on before being driven to the Scranton branch by their manager, Michael Scott, to do a meet and greet with all the workers there. It was the first of the introductory visits she was going to be making to each branch.

She was really dying to get to the office and meet her employees; 2 and a half hours stuck in a car with Michael was extremely tedious and all she needed was some different personalities. If these people were anything like Michael, then she'd be screwed. He had his friendly moments, but the majority of the time he was quoting SNL and being really immature.

They reached the office and Michael whispered to her "this is iiiit!" before they entered, and in they walked..

'Oh my God,' she thought as they approached the receptionist's desk. The receptionist was standing talking to one of her co-workers at a nearby desk before she came up to greet them. The guy she was talking to looked so familiar. It took a couple of seconds for the thought to digest but then it hit her; it was him. Michael's voice broke her thoughts.

"Everybody, listen up!" Michael yelled across the office, "This is Jan Levinson-Gould, Dunder Mifflin's new Vice President of Sales. And despite the first impression she gives, she doesn't bite!" He grinned, and turned to Jan. "Take it awaaay!" Jan looked at Michael sternly before turning to her new employees,

"Thank you for that, erm, lovely introduction, Michael. Yes, I am Jan Levinson-Gould, the new Vice President of Sales, which makes me your new boss. I don't know how my predecessor handled business around here, but I want to let you all know that I expect only the best from you and I believe with a some hard work you can become the company's most profitable branch. I will talk to you all individually at some point this afternoon to discuss any matters or questions you may have. Thank you, carry on with your work." She flashed them a quick smile before heading with Michael into his office, her head suddenly filled with uncontrollable thoughts.


	2. The Crying Woman At The Bar

Jim was visiting his cousin in New York that summer; he hadn't been in years and thought it would be a good experience.

At 19, the world was at his feet and after a pretty tough freshman year at college, he really needed to let off some steam. About three nights into his visit, Jim agreed to go to a few bars with his cousin Andrew and a couple of his mates. The others were all dying to get laid but Jim wasn't particularly bothered about that, just as long as he had a good night out.

They had visited a couple of bars, but both turned out to be pretty lame, so they decided to head to one Jim's cousin's friend had been to once with an ex girlfriend of his. The bar was called Jermaine's and if Jim was honest, it looked rather sinister. They went in nonetheless and found a table in a confined corner. Jim and Andrew went up to the bar and ordered their drinks.

As Jim was waiting for his beer, he noticed a woman sitting at the end of the bar, a very pretty woman. She had sleek, dark blonde hair that shimmered in the dim light. Her eyes were bloodshot and her mascara was messily smudged around her eyes; she must've been crying. She was surrounded by about 3 empty martini glasses and was halfway through her fourth. He guessed that she had probably been through a bad break-up or something like that, but if anyone wanted to break up with a woman as beautiful as her, they must've had serious issues. As he received his beer, he told Andrew he'd join them later, and sauntered over to the woman.

He lightly tapped her on the shoulder and she turned up to look at him, she looked even more beautiful close up, he thought,

"Hey, this seat taken?' he asked, gesturing to the bar stool beside her.

"No, go ahead," she replied with a slight smile and turned back to her drink.

Jim sat down and waited for a couple of moments before striking up a conversation with her; he didn't want to give her the wrong idea straight away. He eventually thought of the best thing to say,

"Not trying to impose or anything, but you look like you've had a rough day. You okay? Oh and by the way, I'm Jim."

She turned back to him, a hint of anger in her eyes, her voice was sadder though,

"Hey, I'm Jan, and you could say that. I think my husband and I have separated. I mean I knew we were going through a bit of a rough patch, but don't all couples at some point? Then when I got home from work earlier I found a note on the kitchen table saying 'I can't deal with this right now, sorry Jan.' how fucking inconsiderate can you get? You'd think he'd write a more sincere note, saying where he was at least, but no, he decides he can't deal with our problems and runs off. Surely after 6 years of marriage, he would be willing to work things out; obviously not. If he's found someone else or something, then I swear to God-"

Jim stopped her, seeing she was getting more and more worked up at this point.

"Wow, what a jerk. I know you love the guy, you still love him right? But you'll have to leave him be for a bit to sort his head out. And you're better off doing the same, although I can see you're already doing that." He chuckled as she set down a fourth empty glass on the bar. "If you don't mind me asking. Why have you and your husband been going through a rough patch?"

"Well I recently got a new job at Lehman Brothers, where he works, and loads of people have been asking us if we're trying for kids after being married for so long. I've always known he didn't want them, but I thought by now he might've changed his mind, he clearly hasn't. Yesterday at lunch, he told some of our co-workers when they asked, very bluntly, 'Jan and I have no interest in starting a family, not now, not ever.' I just had to shrug and smile helplessly. As soon as the topic of conversation changed, I ran out crying. It hurt me so much, y'know? I mean I'd never heard him say it like that before. It was too much. He didn't follow me out of course, and seeing as we work in different departments I didn't see him to talk to but when we got home that night, it all kicked off." She paused slightly before continuing,

"He went to me almost immediately after I'd stepped in the door, 'what the fuck was that all about at lunch? You completely humiliated me in front of all my co-workers, just because of a petty comment I made! People noticed you were upset and for the rest of the day everyone was onto me about it. Why Jan? Could you not of held it in 'til we got home as I've done?' I was fuming, 'I humiliated you? You fucking humiliated me, Richard! Telling everyone we aren't having kids, ever! What are people going to think of us? We've been together 8 years, married for 6! I've wanted kids from day one and I've always accepted the fact you've been hesitant about it but that was just crossing the line! I can't believe you said that, so unaffected by how completely cold you sounded, and made me sound! I don't want everyone thinking I'm a heartless bitch but well done, you've made it happen. I'm so mad right now!' He just ignored me, walked upstairs and went straight to bed. I went straight for a bottle of red wine and must have had almost the full bottle before passing out on the sofa. We went to work separately today and I never saw him all day. Never seen him since last night because I only heard his car pull out the garage this morning. Wow."

Jim was completely astounded. How could this Richard be so much of a dick to Jan? Completely destroying her hopes like that. If he loved her then he wouldn't have been like that, surely. He watched her as she almost downed the fifth martini she had just ordered. Tears started running down her cheeks and he had an instant urge to hug her, so he did.

This made her cry even harder, and at this point, he didn't want to let her go. He barely knew this woman but hearing her spill her guts out about her marriage problems made him feel like he knew her so well. She seemed so strong and together, but seeing her like this broke his heart. He had always hated seeing a woman in pain.

He ordered himself another beer and over the course of the next few hours, found himself hearing her entire life story, in particular the story of her marriage to Richard Gould, world class douche bag. At some point in the night he changed from beers to scotches, and found himself pouring his heart out to Jan about how he and his high school girlfriend had broke up, and about everything else in his life. He knew she was a lot older than him but somehow that didn't stop him being able to talk to her one bit. It felt so right.


	3. The Guy Who Shouldn't Want To Listen

After Richard's display at work yesterday and the fight they'd had last night, Jan was in an incredibly crappy mood. Luckily, she wasn't in his department at work so not as many people knew about it and couldn't question her all day. How wrong she was about that. News seemed to have spread fast about how Richard Gould announced he and his wife weren't having kids and that she seemed to have no idea about this arrangement. People were shocked at the lack of communication in their marriage. Jan was shocked at how 'interested' people were in their marriage. Just because they worked with both of them, it didn't mean they were automatically entitled to comment on their marriage in whichever way they pleased.

When Jan got home that day, she found a note on the kitchen table saying 'I can't deal with this right now, sorry Jan.' she couldn't believe it one bit. She knew this was a problem for them but never for one minute thought he would just leave like this. He didn't even tell her where he was or anything, for all he knew she could be in a distraught state right now, worried out of her mind. Surprisingly for Jan, she wasn't as upset as she imagined she would be.

She decided she couldn't spend her night sitting feeling sorry for herself in this lonely apartment so headed out to a bar called Jermaine's, one she used to go to before she met Gould, and where she drank away the pain of her break-up to her college boyfriend, Dave.

It wasn't busy but it wasn't dead either, so Jan perched herself on a stool at the left end of the bar and ordered a martini. She thought she heard her cell phone vibrate, so went to get it out of her purse. There was no new message or missed call, just the wallpaper of her and Richard last Christmas, looking like newly weds kissing under some mistletoe. She quickly put her phone back in her purse and placed it back on the floor under her stool.

She swiftly took another gulp of her martini before finding herself bursting into tears. She couldn't stop. She thought being in public would prevent her from being so emotional but she found herself not giving a damn what people thought of her. The tears just wouldn't stop. The barman saw this as a cue to give her another drink, and set down another martini in front of her. She nodded at him and smiled in thanks, and calmed down as she took a sip of her drink.

About 20 minutes passed and by this time, she found herself immersed in her fourth martini. She had stopped crying, but still let out the occasional sob. She was sitting, analysing every detail of their marriage trying to figure out any other problems, when she felt someone tap her shoulder. She turned and looked up to see a tall, young man, no older than 22, standing with a beer.

"Hey, this seat taken?" He asked, gesturing to the bar stool beside her.

"No, go ahead," she replied with a slight smile and turned back to her drink.

He sat down beside her and after a few seconds, turned to her and went,

"Not trying to impose or anything, but you look like you've had a rough day. You okay? Oh and by the way, I'm Jim." She was taken aback, he looked so young and carefree, and why would he want to know about her messed up marriage and life? She found herself in need of someone to talk to though so went ahead and told him,

"Hey, I'm Jan, and you could say that. I think my husband and I have separated. I mean I knew we were going through a bit of a rough patch, but don't all couples at some point? Then when I got home from work earlier I found a note on the kitchen table saying 'I can't deal with this right now, sorry Jan.' how fucking inconsiderate can you get? You'd think he'd write a more sincere note, saying where he was at least, but no, he decides he can't deal with our problems and runs off. Surely after 6 years of marriage, he would be willing to work things out; obviously not. If he's found someone else or something, then I swear to God-" she found herself getting incredibly worked up at this point, the thought of him having an affair had never occurred to her before now.

He realised she was getting more emotional and said to her,

"Wow, what a jerk. I know you love the guy, you still love him right? But you'll have to leave him be for a bit to sort his head out. And you're better off doing the same, although I can see you're already doing that." He chuckled as she set down a fourth empty glass on the bar. "If you don't mind me asking. Why have you and your husband been going through a rough patch?"

She sighed and replied,

"Well I recently got a new job at Lehman Brothers, where he works, and loads of people have been asking us if we're trying for kids after being married for so long. I've always known he didn't want them, but I thought by now he might've changed his mind, he clearly hasn't. Yesterday at lunch, he told some of our co-workers when they asked, very bluntly, 'Jan and I have no interest in starting a family, not now, not ever.' I just had to shrug and smile helplessly. As soon as the topic of conversation changed, I ran out crying. It hurt me so much, y'know? I mean I'd never heard him say it like that before. It was too much. He didn't follow me out of course, and seeing as we work in different departments I didn't see him to talk to but when we got home that night, it all kicked off." She paused, trying not to burst into tears again, then continued,

"He went to me almost immediately after I'd stepped in the door, 'what the fuck was that all about at lunch? You completely humiliated me in front of all my co-workers, just because of a petty comment I made! People noticed you were upset and for the rest of the day everyone was onto me about it. Why Jan? Could you not of held it in 'til we got home as I've done?' I was fuming, 'I humiliated you? You fucking humiliated me, Richard! Telling everyone we aren't having kids, ever! What are people going to think of us? We've been together 8 years, married for 6! I've wanted kids from day one and I've always accepted the fact you've been hesitant about it but that was just crossing the line! I can't believe you said that, so unaffected by how completely cold you sounded, and made me sound! I don't want everyone thinking I'm a heartless bitch but well done, you've made it happen. I'm so mad right now!' He just ignored me, walked upstairs and went straight to bed. I went straight for a bottle of red wine and must have had almost the full bottle before passing out on the sofa. We went to work separately today and I never saw him all day. Never seen him since last night because I only heard his car pull out the garage this morning. Wow."

Reality suddenly hit her. The one problem in their marriage had finally ruined them. She never thought this day would come, she always thought they'd get through it as usual. He'd walked out on her and she was now alone. And here she was pouring her heart out to some guy she barely knew.

She finished her fourth drink, almost forgetting she had it and ordered a fifth. She downed this fifth martini, and tears started running down her cheeks. Jim instantly hugged her warmly and this made her cry even harder, now she didn't want to let go of him. It made her think that maybe some guys had a heart, but he was only young, he was probably too naïve to realise how bad marriage could be.

Over the course of the next few hours, Jan found herself confessing everything to Jim. Every little screwed up detail of her life. Once he had switched beers for scotches, he was doing the same. She found out all about how he and his high school girlfriend had broken up and that she was his first love, that he was only 19, which really shocked her due to his maturity, about his childhood and his life at college, which he hated, but was too afraid to drop out.

The fact that Jim was 10 years younger than her didn't faze her at all. She felt comfortable talking to Jim; it was like she'd known him all her life. It felt so right.


	4. The Moment They Were Both Waiting For

It had been about four hours since Jim had first met Jan at the bar. During that time they had both become extremely drunk and pretty much told each other their entire life stories. After about two hours, Jan had suggested they move into a booth so they could talk more 'intimately', he had immediately agreed on that, there was so much more he wanted to know about her. Since then they had gone further and further into the depths of each others minds, sharing a connection that was undescribable for two people that had known each other for a matter of hours.

After yet another confession from Jim, the painful one about how he tried to get his old girlfriend back, Jan had hugged him tightly for what felt like the hundredth time. Her irresistably sweet smell of rose perfume and alcohol seemed so familiar now. She pulled him even closer and whispered seductively into his ear,

"Come back to my place," she giggled and Jim couldn't tell if it was because of all the alcohol or if she was being genuinely flirty. Either way he didn't care.

"Okay, let's get out of here," he whispered back.

They quickly got up, Jim went to pay their bar tab while Jan grabbed her purse and they ran out of the bar holding hands.

Once they were outside, Jim stopped and turned to face her. She looked so stunning under the glow of a nearby streetlamp, and that was one mental picture he promised himself he would never forget.

"Where's your place?" he said quietly.

"Only a couple of blocks away," she whispered back, mocking his quiet tone.

He suddenly stopped in her tracks; she really was beautiful. Before any of them could say anything more, he grabbed hold of her and kissed her. She passionately kissed him back, running her fingers through his hair.

"Let's get going," she said, quickly grabbing hold of his hand and starting to run down the street, pulling him along with her. Jim soon found himself exhilarated due to the mix of alcohol, the fresh wind blowing in his face and the fact he and Jan had finally kissed; he'd waited all night to do that.

They finally reached her apartment block and she literally dragged him into the elevator up to her apartment. She slammed him into one corner of the elevator and started kissing him overpoweringly. He soon found her legs wrapped around his as she held onto him, kissing his lips, his face and his neck.

As soon as they reached her apartment, she gestured to him to get out her key from her purse and he opened the door. She flung her purse onto the sofa and directed him to her bedroom, her legs now wrapped tightly around his waist and arms still tightly wrapped around his neck. This was unbelievable, he thought.

He dropped her onto her bed and they both quickly undressed themselves. He climbed on top of her and began covering her striking body with kisses, he just couldn't help himself. Her body was just wow. Her skin was silky smooth and she was thin with curves in all the right places. He couldn't believe his luck that someone like her wanted to be here right now doing this with him. He felt her moan into him with every touch he made, compelling him to go further. He took the hint and went to unhook her bra with care before sliding her thong off down those killer legs of hers. What they did for the rest of the night was just one big, beautiful blur.

* * *

Four hours had passed since Jim had first tapped her on the shoulder and asked to sit with her at the bar. Letting him sit with her was one of the best decisions Jan felt she'd made in a long time. Over the course of the four hours, she found herself confessing to him about everything in her life and listened as he did the same. Two hours ago she had suggested they move to a bench, hoping to get more intimate with him, and was really glad that he'd agreed so enthusiastically. That was then they really got talking, things were going great.

Jim had just poured his heart out to her about how he had broken up with his girlfriend in high school and unsuccessfully tried to win her back. She instantly hugged him tight, like she had after every other heartfelt confession. He smelled strongly of alcohol and a gorgeous aftershave she couldn't put a name to. The smell was so familiar and comforting.

She pulled him closer, and knowing exactly what she wanted to happen, whispered, rather seductively she though, into his ear,

"Come back to my place," she giggled an unexpected giggle, and waited for his reply.

"Okay, let's get out of here," he whispered back. She smiled to herself.

They both quickly got up, Jim went up to pay their bar tab while Jan grabbed her purse from under the table and they ran out of the bar holding hands.

Once they were outside, they both stopped and were stood facing each other. Seeing him under the glow of the streetlamps surrounding them made her realise just how handsome he was. She already knew he was, obviously, but the darkness of the bar hadn't revealed his full beauty.

"Where's your place?" he said quietly to her.

"Only a couple of blocks away," she whispered back, mocking his quiet tone.

The next thing she knew, he had a hold of her and was passionately kissing her. All she could do was kiss him back, finally letting the feelings building up inside of her come pouring out into that one kiss.

"Let's get going," she said, quickly grabbing hold of his hand and starting to run down the street, pulling him along with her. The wind in her hair and the crisp air sparked adrenaline in her, not to mention the alcohol she'd consumed and that amazing first kiss she had just shared with Jim.

They finally reached her apartment block and she dragged him into the elevator that lead up to her apartment. Feeling like nothing was standing in her way; she shoved him into one corner of the elevator and started kissing him overwhelmingly. She wrapped her legs around his and started kissing him anywhere his skin was exposed; his lips, all over his face, his neck, she couldn't resist him.

As soon as they reached her apartment, she gestured to him to get out her key from her purse as she was incapable at that point, and he opened the door for her. She hastily flung her purse onto the sofa and directed him straight to the bedroom, her legs now wrapped tightly around his waist and arms still tightly wrapped around his neck. For the first time in forever she was happy to have a man taking her to her bedroom.

He dropped her onto her bed, allowing them to undress themselves quickly. He climbed on top of her and began covering her body with kisses, she was pleasantly surprised at how advanced he was for his age; he hit all the right spots which made her moan loudly in pleasure into his soft skin. She wanted him to take it to the next level, and he surely took the hint, He slowly went to unhook her bra and slid off her thong down her legs. Everything that happened from then on was a haze, an incredibly wonderful haze.


	5. The Beautiful Aftermath

The next morning, Jim awoke with a pounding headache. He slowly opened his eyes and turned to his right; he saw Jan lying there, sleeping peacefully like a child. He smiled to himself in the realisation of what had happened the night before, then sat up and scanned the room, the memories of last night flooding back to him.

A couple of empty cigarette packets lay at the foot of the bed and he remembered her lying across his chest, smoking after they'd first had sex and how he had instantaneously accepted a cigarette from her despite the fact he'd always hated smoking. He remembered how quickly he had become addicted to them, like he had with her.

He then remembered how at one point she got up off him and stumbled around her apartment looking for alcohol, despite how much they had already drunk that night. She came back armed with shot glasses, a bottle of vodka and a bottle of scotch. They ended up sitting up at 4:30 in the morning smoking, talking and drinking shots of vodka and scotch and the flat coke that they'd found under her bed.

He remembered how tired she was but how natural all this, the late night drinking, the smoking, the intimacy, seemed for her. It was anything but natural for him. He never pictured this was how he'd spend his vacation in New York.

He smiled yet again as he saw the empty scotch and vodka bottles sitting on her nightstand. The floor around her bed was covered with their clothes and he grinned to himself as he recalled the many passionate encounters they had shared.

The way she screamed out his name in pleasure, the way her skin felt against his, the way he felt a connection with her like he had with no other woman before, just everything about last night satisfied him on a million levels.

He knew starting something with Jan was wrong, but he was going to bite the bullet and bring it up to her anyway. Even if it was just another meaningless fling, he didn't care. He wanted to be with her in any way possible. Deep down he knew he couldn't see a long-term future for the two of them, but for once that didn't matter to Jim.

She surprised him in that moment by opening her eyes, slowly sitting up and kissing passionately on the lips, her hands cupping his face.

"Morning, you." She smiled at him, their foreheads resting together now. He wrapped an arm around her as she moved her head away, allowing her to lean on him.

"Hey," he replied, more sleepily than he had hoped. She rested her head on his shoulder and his heart skipped a beat at feeling her skin against his again.

"What you fancy doing today?" she asked him. He suddenly realised he hadn't called his cousin to let him know where he was.

"Well I need to stop by my cousin's to let him know I'm alive." he chuckled, "but then I'm all yours for the rest of the day, that's if you still want me."

"Course I do silly. Just phone him, that way you don't have to leave at all."

She then removed his arm from her waist and slowly climbed on top of him, pushing him backwards onto the bed and kissing him hard to pin him down.

"Now?" he grinned as the kiss broke off.

"Why not?" she grinned back devilishly, stroking his face affectionately.

He sighed with a smile, knowing he couldn't resist a beautiful woman lying on top of him and wanting sex.

They had sex again, and despite having done it many times before the past night, Jim couldn't get over how amazing in bed she was. He had been with a few girls before but none of them compared to Jan. Her experience showed as she knew exactly how to pleasure him and she was just incredible at it. He wasn't sure what she thought about his performance in the bedroom, but the responses she gave him made him think he was really doing it for her, and whenever they were together she made him feel like he was a remarkable lover. He loved that he was able to please her like that.

After they were done, they showered together, something Jim actually hadn't experienced with a woman before. He loved it. He then rang his cousin, who was nowhere near as worried as Jim assumed he would be, telling him how he and Jan and hooked up, and because he was falling for her so much, he was going to be spending the rest of his time in New York with her. He didn't want to leave her side, not now, not ever.

They spent that day walking around New York, taking in all of the beauty that surrounded them. They went to Central Park and spent hours lying on the grass next to each other, talking and kissing and just being with each other. They went for coffee in a quaint coffee house Jan knew and spent hours there too. They headed back to Jan's place on the night, sober unlike the night before, and made love again. It was even more wonderful for Jim not being intoxicated. This time he felt he was getting to know her so much more, in a much clearer light. The whole time Jim thought to himself how he could never get bored of someone like her, he loved being with her so much.

Over the course of the next few days, he found himself becoming more and more infatuated with Jan. He ended up extended his stay in New York as he simply couldn't bare to leave her for the bitter life he lead back home. They were spending all the hours of the days togehter and actually acting like a couple, and it didn't seem to be all about the sex as he imagined vacation flings to be. He loved the way he felt so at home when he was with her, despite the fact his behaviour was far from the norm for him. For the first time in his life, a woman was making him feel like a man. He didn't know if it was because she was older but whatever it was fascinated him. It pained him so much to think that this would have to end soon; time slowed down when he was with her. Everything was perfect and nothing dark could put an end to it.

* * *

Jan awoke the next morning, her mind blank of everything that had happened the previous night. One quick look to the left of her and seeing Jim there soon reminded her. The way they'd hit it off last night after he so gallantly listened to her and comforted her when she was such an uncontrollable mess, the chemistry they shared as they talked for hours and hours, how they'd came back to her apartment and had truly amazing sex before spending the early hours of the morning drinking and smoking and being even more intimate with him. She'd had such a good time, and it wasn't just the ridiculous amount of alcohol she had consumed going to her head. She really liked him.

Deciding to make her awake presence known, she sat up and turned to him, taking his face in her hands and kissing him deeply. As the kiss broke off, she smiled at how besotted one kiss could make her feel.

"Morning, you." She said softly, their foreheads now touching. She pulled away from him but he wrapped an arm tightly around her waist.

"Hey," he replied rather sleepily. She rested her head on his shoulder and smiled to herself at the comfort being close to him brought her. She hoped so much he wouldn't think last night was a mistake and run off.

"What you fancy doing today?" she asked him, deciding that probably wouldn't be the case.

"Well I need to stop by my cousin's to let him know I'm alive." he laughed, and she remembered how he mentioned he was meant to be staying with his cousin on vacation.

"But then I'm all yours for the rest of the day, that's if you still want me." Jan beamed, she was so pleased he wasn't taking off. All she really wanted was to be with him, he really made her happy.

"Course I do silly. Just phone him, that way you don't have to leave at all."

Feeling the need to be closer to him, she slowly climbed on top of him, pushed him playfully back onto the bed and kissed him hard, making sure he was surely pinned down and unable to escape.

"Now?" he grinned as the kiss broke off, surely taking the hint she was putting out there.

"Why not?" she grinned back seductively, stroking his face affectionately. Wow he was beautiful, she thought.

He sighed in defeat, but still smiling. She knew he wouldn't have been able to resist her being on top of him.

They ended up having sex again, like they had several times last night. It was so amazing. Jan knew Jim was a lot younger so she'd expected him to be inexperienced and clumsy but he was the complete opposite of that. He was so in tune with her it was unbelievable. The way he made her feel was unlike the way any man had ever made her feel in bed. He made her feel precious and worth something and for once in her life she enjoyed the man she was having sex with and not just the sex itself. That fact haunted her slightly, especially due to the fact she had been married to Gould for so long but never felt such a connection with him.

When they'd finished, they took a shower together. It was something else Jan had loved doing with Jim. He told her afterwards he actually hadn't been intimate like that with a woman before, and she felt kind of proud that she was the first woman he did that with because of how brilliant it had been.

While she got dressed for the day ahead of them, he had rang his cousin to inform him of his whereabouts. Jan and Jim had come to the decision that he would spend the rest of his vacation at her place due to the strong feelings they felt for each other and their mutual desire to spend every second together.

They spent that day exploring New York, allowing themselves to take in the beautiful city the way they were taking in each other. They spent hours at Central Park, lying next to each other on the soft grass, talking and kissing and acting all couple-y. Jan felt sixteen again, she was giddy at the way they were so happy with the freshness of their relationship or whatever it was. That reminded her to bring up to Jim something about their future. She knew she'd have to come back to reality sooner or later, and that it probably would be sooner, but she wished so much for the next few days to be as perfect as today so far. She loved being with him, there was something about him and his youthful, slightly naïve energy that she craved.

They went for coffee at Amelie's, a small coffee house she liked and knew Jim would too. They spent hours there talking, it was strange how they never seemed to run out of things to talk about. They headed back to her place on the night, finding themselves having even more sex. Being sober made it even more brilliant for Jan. She felt so much closer to him not being drunk and over-emotional, and she was sure he felt the same. The physical yearning they both shared for each other continued to bring them closer together.

The next morning, Jim told her was extending his stay in New York so he would be there longer with her. Over the next few days, Jan found herself developing incredibly strong feelings for him and she hadn't felt so happy in a long time. She knew he would have to leave eventually, but the thought of that actually physically hurt her. As silly as it may have sounded, there was no way she wanted to go back to the life she led before she met him.

They were spending every hour of every day together, taking in the pleasure of their new romance. They were acting like a true couple, all loved-up and everything, and Jan didn't want it to end. Ever. She taught herself to think nothing could put a dampener on what they had, and it wouldn't end up just another meaningless fling with a guy she barely knew. In all honesty though, she didn't feel that way at all. She had gotten to know Jim so well and it felt like she'd known him for years. He was surprisingly mature and they got on like a house on fire; they could talk for hours, just enjoying each other's company. It wasn't all about sex and Jan loved that. In the past her flings revolved around sex and any connection outside of the bedroom, especially any sober connection, was something she had felt obliged to. It was nothing like that with Jim, she actually wanted to spend all of her time with him and the rare times she was away from him, she missed him deeply. How anything could stop them being together, she would never know.


	6. The Taking Of The Risk

**Author's Notes:**

**Sorry it's been nearly a month without an update, I was without my laptop for 2 weeks and I had loads of revision, then when I sat down to write I couldn't find inspiration. Butthis is the first of two chapters I'm posting tonight so you're in luck, it was going to be one but I realised each POV had enough words for a chapter each so I settled on doing that.**

**Oh, and thanks to Cleo2010,StarStrewn and callsign WITCH DOCTOR for their lovely reviews! Anyway, enjoy guys!**

It was a couple of days before Jim was planning to leave New York and head home, and he was walking through Central Park having picked up some food for himself and Jan for dinner. The fact it wasn't long before he was leaving meant he would have to end things with her soon. He'd never dreaded something so much in his life. This woman had come into his life and completely knocked him off balance. The last few days with her had made him so happy, and he didn't want to go back to his life before her.

All day Jan had been slightly off and Jim knew it was because they hadn't talked about him leaving, although they both knew they would have to. It's not like he could just pack up his stuff and leave without a proper goodbye and coming to terms with living without each other and Jim going back to college and Jan sorting out her marriage. "Her marriage, shit." He said out loud. Jim had almost completely forgotten about Jan and her separation from Gould. But if she had so willingly spent these few days with him, surely she wouldn't want to rush into patching things up with Gould?

Jim sighed as he turned into the street of Jan's apartment block. He went into the building and then the elevator, thinking of how to word what he wanted to tell Jan. To tell her that he'd loved the last few days and despite the age difference and her being married still; he would be up for keeping in touch, as just friends, if that was what she wanted too. He felt they had too much of a connection to throw it all away and fling it aside as a worthless affair. As he reached her apartment, he could hear Jan talking on the phone. He paused as her voice seemed to grow louder and after a few seconds she was yelling angrily and Jim's heart sunk at the realisation that it was probably Gould on the other end of the phone. He knocked on the door, hoping his arrival would prevent Jan from totally losing it with Gould.

Jan opened the door and smiled weakly at him, still in conversation with Gould. Luckily she was no longer yelling but now she seemed at the point of exhaustion with him. He went into the kitchen and started putting the food he'd collected onto plates while Jan remained on the phone, pacing around her living room anxiously. After a few minutes he heard her hang up the phone and she walked into the kitchen.

"It was Gould," she said, too nervously for Jim's liking.

"Yeah I figured, what did he want?" he replied, sitting down at the kitchen table, setting their plates on it and gesturing for her to join him.

"He wants to talk and work things out, all that 'I can't live without you' shit." She looked awfully remorseful for someone who had showed so much hatred towards the man beforehand.

"What did you say to him?" Jim asked, he too felt incredibly nervous now but was doing his best to keep calm in front of Jan.

"I told him I could do with a few more days, to clear my head and stuff. I said I had a lot on my plate at the minute." She said aimlessly and got up to fetch some chopsticks for her Chinese food.

"And by a lot on your plate I'm guessing you mean me?" Jim turned to make eye contact with her and suddenly felt as if he was starting an argument he didn't want to have.

"Yeah," she nodded

"Jan, I'm going home in two days. I care about you a lot, I really do, but seriously you can't be thinking about us continuing this, whatever the hell it is we have?" he regretted the words as they left his mouth, even more so when he saw the look on her face.

"Look I'm sorry, that's how it is," he smiled as warmly as he could, desperately trying to wipe the heartbreaking look off her face.

"No Jim, you're right! I'm being totally irrational. What the fuck was I thinking getting involved with a 19 year old? I really care about you too, but I'm married. We can't keep this up when you go home can we? I want to, Jim you have no idea how badly I want to, but I can't." she looked down sadly and before Jim could respond, there was a series of knocks on the door.

"Jan! Open up! I need to talk to you babe!" Although Jim had never heard his voice before, he knew instantly it was Gould.

"Oh God," Jan whispered, "Get in my bedroom now! And stay there, I'll get rid of him." Jim followed her orders and walked into her bedroom.

Many thoughts entered Jim's mind as he sat on Jan's bed; will Jan succumb to Gould's pleas for her to take him back? Does he even want her back? God, who was he kidding? Of course Gould wanted Jan back, she was amazing. Beautiful, smart, funny, a real catch, and obviously, already his wife, so he had a pretty huge advantage over Jim there.

He got off the bed and stood by the door as he heard their voices; things seemed reasonably calm between them because he could barely hear them. That was more of a bad sign than a good sign. It could mean she's at a stage where she's ready to forgive him and welcome him back into her life with open arms. Just the thought of it made Jim feel uneasy.

Not long later, he was sure he heard a door close. His suspicions were confirmed when Jan yelled "Jim, you can come out now!" Anxiously, he opened the door and stepped out into her living room.

"So, what did he want now?" he asked her.

"Trying to prove how much he loves me by apologising in person." Great, he thought. He could tell he wasn't hiding his apprehensiveness very well, but at this point he didn't care, he had every reason to worry. "Don't worry, I told him I wasn't ready to go back to him, and I never mentioned anything to suggest I'm seeing someone else." She added, instantly reassuring him. The warm smile and loving hug she gave him afterwards reassured him even more, and his heart broke a little to think that this was something that probably wouldn't last much longer.

"Jim?" she said to him as the hug broke off.

"Yeah?" he replied, smiling back.

"Do you actually see us going anywhere?" that was what he was waiting for her to say. He was going to put his heart on the line and tell her exactly what he thought, despite previously telling her they couldn't last.

"You know what Jan, I do. I can see myself really falling in love with you. I want to be with you, I know you're married but I'm willing to take the risk if you are. I can see a future with you, and I don't want us to end." That was so easy for Jim to say, because he truly meant it, but it was waiting to see her reaction that made it harder. He sat while she seemed to take it all in, process what he'd said. He knew it would be surprising and probably scary to hear him tell her that, but he didn't care. He'd said it, and now he could just wait and hope for the best.

"Jim, I can't. You have no idea how much I want to, but I'm sorry." Was finally her response.

"Leave him, Jan. He doesn't deserve you. I'd never hurt you like he has. You should know that." He knew this wasn't going to end well, and he had a lump forming in his throat, but he was determined to confidently put himself out there and tell Jan exactly how he felt.

"I know, Jim. I know. But deep down, I do love him. And we've known each other less than 2 weeks. It's too much of a risk." She replied, whispering. Her putting him down just spurred him on more, even if it was making him tear up.

"I don't care. I'm willing to take the risk." He told her, fighting back tears. He really didn't want to seem more vulnerable by crying about this in front of her.

"Jim, you can't, you shouldn't. You're young; you've got the whole world at your feet. You don't want to settle down at your age, and you don't even know that we could last long-term." She was trying not to cry too, he could see it. A tear started rolling down her cheek and it broke his heart more to see how much she was hurting. He slowly wiped away the tear with his thumb and cupped her face with hands, looking her directly in the eyes as he spoke.

"I don't care about the age difference, or your husband, or how society would judge us. I know I sound crazy but I care about you and like you enough to know we can make it in the future." She removed his hands from her face and held them in her own.

"No Jim, it won't work. We won't work. Can you not see that?" more tears were rolling down her cheeks. Jim knew she was struggling to keep up her façade of how they shouldn't be together.

"Please, give us a chance. I know I'm meant to be leaving, but we can work long distance. Then if we get more serious I can move here and be with you full-time. We can make it work." He was so desperate for her to see sense now, he was not willing to back down.

"No, don't say that. Please." Jan stood up and headed to her bedroom, "we can't go on. I'll let you stay here until you leave if you don't wanna go back to your cousin's, but we're over. I'm sorry." She let out a sob and shut the bedroom door.

She hadn't let him get a word in but he didn't know what to do, he put his head in his hands and quietly wept. After a couple of minutes, he calmed down and went to Jan's bedroom, knocking beforehand just in case.

"Jan, I wish we didn't have to end like this, but you've made your intentions perfectly clear. I'm going to go back to Andrew's for the rest of my stay, so I'll get my stuff and get going so I can get out of your hair." She stood up off her bed and kissed him goodbye. "Thanks for making my vacation so memorable."

"You're welcome." She whispered into him as they hugged, neither one wanting to let go.

It didn't take long for Jim to gather his belongings, and he was ready to leave her apartment after about 20 minutes.

"You have my number Jan, get in touch if you ever miss me." He'd said, holding back tears as he stood by her door.

"Will do." She tried smiling in response, but she too was holding back tears.

They hugged briefly and said their goodbyes. Jim walked out to the elevator and then out of her apartment building and down the street, tears in his eyes every step of the way to Andrew's. As he reached his cousin's apartment, he knocked on the door, walked in without a word and cried himself to sleep on the futon in the spare room. He knew it would be a long time before he forgot about Jan Levinson Gould, and if he ever saw her again, he would most definitely take the high road, unlike his display that night.


	7. The Return

All that day, Jan had been feeling uneasy. Gould had been texting her, asking if they could meet up and talk and work things out, but she honestly didn't know what to do. Jim was leaving in two days, but they still hadn't talked about what would happen. Would it just end? Would they carry on their affair or whatever it was? It probably was classed as an affair, but it didn't feel like one. It didn't involve sneaking around or worrying about being found out, although it still had the passion and the excitement of being together. In other ways it felt like they'd been lovers for years; the connection they shared, the way they seemed to gel so well, the closeness. Jan was torn on what to do.

Jim had gone out to collect their Chinese for dinner, he said he fancied the walk and asked her if she cared to join him, but she declined the invitation because it would be the only alone time she would have that day and she really needed to contact Gould back, having ignored him all day. She decided she'd text Gould and tell him she had a lot on her plate so could she have a few more days before they talk. That would give her enough time to sort things out with Jim and figure out what she wanted.

Not long after she'd sent the text, her house phone started ringing. As she went to grab the phone, the caller ID displayed the name 'Richard's cell'. Jan sighed

"What is it?" she asked impatiently.

"Jan, I miss you so much, and I'm sorry for my display at work and how I've been lately. I love you baby." He did sound sorry, but there was no way she was going to give in to him.

"It's not going to be as easy as that." For the first time in a long time, she felt he was going to be the one begging.

"But I love you, and we can work this out, I know you, and I know how good we are together." He pleaded.

"If you really loved me and thought we were good together, then why did you walk out on me?" she snapped.

"I was messed up, not thinking straight." He replied. Jan had to smile at his pathetic attempts to win her over.

"Really? If that's what you call not thinking straight, then try being me. I have a lot on my plate right now." She knew he would ask what, but she knew she couldn't bring Jim up.

"Yeah, like what?" he asked, the curiousness showing clearly in his voice.

"I'm not getting into it now Richard." She said firmly.

"Do you have so much on your plate that you can't meet up with me and talk things out properly… and calmly?" he must've sensed the firmness in her tone, which with her meant upcoming anger.

"Yes! I'm not going to come and see you so we can discuss us. I'm not in the mood!" she was in fact getting angrier at him now, he just seemed to bring that out in her.

"You don't have to then, I'll come to you if it's easier." He replied calmly.

"No you will not! I don't want to see you Richard." She was pacing vigorously around her apartment at this point.

"Okaay chill, Jan," he said to her soothingly.

"No I will not fucking chill out okay? You're trying to sweet talk me back to you, and it may have worked in the past, but not now!" she spat down the phone.

"Baby, you have no idea how truly sorry I am though, and I never meant to hurt you. You know I never." He was pleading again, which infuriated Jan.

"Richard, you walked out on me without any warning, you didn't even leave a text or a note on the kitchen table! I can't be expected to forgive you right now!"

"But I love you! What more do you expect?" he did seem upset by her outbursts, so she decided to calm her voice slightly, even though she was terribly tired of him trying to persuade her into being 'reasonable'.

"Look.." Jan was interrupted by a knock at the door, it was Jim back with dinner. She smiled softly at him, Gould still hanging on the other end of the phone. Jim went and started putting the food he'd collected onto plates in the kitchen while she remained on the phone, pacing around her living room anxiously.

"Richard, look. It's not that simple okay? Things are never simple with us, and this time is no different. You understand?"

"I guess, but I really want to talk things out." He replied, sounding glad she was calmer now.

"I'll text you later or something because I've got things to do. Bye Richard."

"Okay, I love you, don't forget that. Bye." She hung up the phone and walked into the kitchen to see Jim.

"It was Gould," she said, feigning anxiety.

"Yeah I figured, what did he want?" he replied, sitting down at the kitchen table, setting their plates on it and gesturing for her to join him.

"He wants to talk and work things out, all that 'I can't live without you' shit." She said exhaustedly, really not in the mood to go into too much detail.

"What did you say to him?" Jim asked unconsciously, she could tell he was trying not to be bothered by whatever had happened.

"I told him I could do with a few more days, to clear my head and stuff. I said I had a lot on my plate at the minute." She said rather aimlessly and got up to fetch some chopsticks for her Chinese food.

"And by a lot on your plate I'm guessing you mean me?" Jim questioned as he turned to face her and she now felt under pressure.

"Yeah," she nodded back at him.

"Jan, I'm going home in two days. I care about you a lot, I really do, but seriously you can't be thinking about us continuing this, whatever the hell it is we have?" Jan was completely taken aback. She never expected him to put it like that.

"Look I'm sorry, that's how it is," he tried smiling warmly, seeing he'd upset her. Jan wasn't in much of a forgiving mood after her phone call with Gould.

"No Jim, you're right! I'm being totally irrational. What the fuck was I thinking getting involved with a 19 year old? I really care about you too, but I'm married. We can't keep this up when you go home can we? I want to, Jim you have no idea how badly I want to, but I can't." she looked at the floor, she regretted saying that the minute it came out of her mouth.

He didn't have time to respond as the door started knocking and that familiar voice started yelling.

"Jan! Open up! I need to talk to you babe!" Jan froze. Her lover was barely feet away from her husband, just a door between them.

"Oh God," she whispered to herself, "Get in my bedroom now! And stay there, I'll get rid of him." She shouted at Jim, and he quickly obeyed her.

She smoothed down her clothes and put her head up high, trying to remain as calm as possible. "Not hiding a thing" she repeated quietly to herself as she walked to the door. She opened it to see Gould standing there with a bunch of flowers and tired eyes, smiling feebly at her.

"Richard." She said calmly, trying to hide the fact she was a mess over him turning up unannounced.

"Hey Jan, these are for you." He handed the flowers to her and smiled harder.

"I'll go put them in a vase." She said and walked to the kitchen with them, picking a vase up on the way to fill with water. He shut the door and followed her into the kitchen.

"I really miss being with you, and I'm your husband, doesn't that count for anything?" he said to her as she filled up the vase with water and placed the flowers in it. She walked back out into the living room and placed them on a table before saying anything. She sat down on the sofa and motioned for him to sit too.

"It does, but I'm not ready to take you back. Not yet anyway." She said, proud of how calm it came out.

"When will you though?" he asked her.

"I don't know okay," she replied, genuinely unsure when she would be ready.

"Well you know I'll be waiting," he smiled broadly at her and she sighed, he did have a pretty cute smile, but she wasn't letting herself be caught up. Not now anyway.

"Yeah, is it okay if you leave now? I'm real busy and I've got some stuff I need to be doing." Now it was time to talk to Jim about their future.

"Sure, sure. See you later." He blew her a kiss as he got up and left. Jan sank into the sofa and let out a huge sigh.

"Jim, you can come out now!" she shouted, and Jim came out her bedroom door, looking very nervous.

"So, what did he want now?" he asked her, the nervous look on his face not disappearing at all.

"Trying to prove how much he loves me by apologising in person." She shrugged back, unsure of how she should be acting. She could see how uneasy Jim was looking and it pained her seeing him like that. "Don't worry, I told him I wasn't ready to go back to him, and I never mentioned anything to suggest I'm seeing someone else." She could tell by the look on his face that he was more relaxed now that she had said that, and she smiled warmly at him and then hugged him tightly. She knew it would make him feel better and it made her feel better too.

It was inevitable that they would have to break up when Jim left, and now was probably the worst time she could bring that up. But she really felt after the day she had, she should get the talk she needed over and done with.

"Jim?" she said softly as they parted from their hug.

"Yeah?" he smiled back.

"Do you actually see us going anywhere?" she braced herself for what was to come.

"You know what Jan, I do. I can see myself really falling in love with you. I want to be with you, I know you're married but I'm willing to take the risk if you are. I can see a future with you, and I don't want us to end." Jan felt nothing could've prepared her for what he just said. He just said he couldn't see them lasting and he goes and says that? She knew he cared about her, but the fact he was willing to let her risk ruining her marriage? That was too much for her to take in right now. She was speechless. She could see Jim waiting for a response, but she was too caught up with all the shock to snap out of it and say something back to him.

"Jim, I can't. You have no idea how much I want to, but I'm sorry." Was all she could say at that point.

"Leave him, Jan. He doesn't deserve you. I'd never hurt you like he has. You should know that." The look in his eyes and the way he was putting his heart on the line for her was too much for Jan, she could feel the lump in her throat get bigger with every word.

"I know, Jim. I know. But deep down, I do love him. And we've known each other less than 2 weeks. It's too much of a risk." She managed to whisper.

"I don't care. I'm willing to take the risk." Jim said, himself trying to fight back tears. This made the tears in her own eyes well up even more.

"Jim, you can't, you shouldn't. You're young; you've got the whole world at your feet. You don't want to settle down at your age, and you don't even know that we could last long-term." She was almost successfully fighting back tears, excluding the tear starting to run down her cheek.

"Again Jan, I don't care." He wiped away the tear with his thumb and cupped her face with his hands. "I don't care about the age difference, or your husband, or how society would judge us. I know I sound crazy but I care about you and like you enough to know we can make it in the future." Jan took his hands from her face and held them in hers, crying more so now.

"No Jim, it won't work. We won't work. Can you not see that?" this whole situation broke Jan's heart. Jim was pouring her heart out to her and it was clear how strong the feelings between them were, but it was wrong on too many ways to work. She didn't want to look Jim in the eye as he cleared his throat to reply.

"Please, give us a chance. I know I'm meant to be leaving, but we can work long distance. Then if we get more serious I can move here and be with you full-time. We can make it work." She'd obviously broken his heart during this conversation and the throbbing in her stomach with every one of his gallant words didn't help.

"No, don't say that. Please." Jan stood up and headed to her bedroom, "we can't go on. I'll let you stay here until you leave if you don't wanna go back to your cousin's, but we're over. I'm sorry." She let out a sob and shut the bedroom door.

She collapsed onto her bed and cried, how a guy could make her feel like this when she hadn't known him more than 2 weeks didn't fail to amaze her. She knew she'd done the right thing by ending it, but it hurt so much more than it should've.

A few minutes later, there was a knock and the door and he came in her room,

"Jan, I wish we didn't have to end like this, but you've made your intentions perfectly clear. I'm going to go back to Andrew's for the rest of my stay, so I'll get my stuff and get going so I can get out of your hair." She stood up off her bed and kissed him for what would probably be the last time, savouring his taste and the connection she felt every time they'd kissed before. "Thanks for making my vacation so memorable." He said quietly to her as the kiss broke off.

"You're welcome." She whispered back as they shared their last embrace.

It didn't take long for Jim to gather his belongings, and in less than half an hour he was ready to leave.

"You have my number Jan, get in touch if you ever miss me." He'd said, holding back tears.

"Will do." She smiled through her own tears.

They hugged briefly and bid farewell to each other. As Jan closed the door, she sunk down to the floor and cried for what felt like hours. The one thing interrupting her was a phone call from Gould about an hour after Jim had left. She took the call and he had turned up at the apartment that night. They talked everything out, and she told him about Jim. He understood and forgave her, and they agreed to start rebuilding their marriage. The day on a whole emotionally drained her, and it was bittersweet, but she felt she could continue her life without regrets. If she ever saw him again, she'd be sure to let him know their time together did in fact help her grow in many ways.


	8. The Inevitable Reunion

**Guys, very sorry about the long wait! I knew how I wanted the next couple of chapters to go, but I couldn't think of how to word it. Plus I'd been busy with school and stuff and for once I've had a social life which has left little time to write. So here you go, the next chapter!**

* * *

Jim's head was all over the place. Michael and Jan had been holed up in his office for over thirty minutes and in that time, he couldn't concentrate on his work at all. The fact that sooner or later he'd have to have a one to one conversation with the woman who pretty much broke his heart all those years ago scared him. He knew it was about business but surely they couldn't go through their meeting without bringing up the past?

He knew Pam had been watching him ever since Jan had gone with Michael into his office, but he didn't want to talk to her about it. She would see him in a completely different light if she knew he'd had an affair with their boss' boss, even if she was separated from her husband at the time and it was back when he was in college. All he could do to keep himself from going crazy at this point was mindlessly play solitaire on his computer. He noticed Dwight hard at work, eager to please the new boss, as well as a few other people around the office actually making an effort with their jobs for once. It amused him that even though the blinds were closed so they couldn't see what was going on in the office, people were still trying their best to please Jan and Michael. If only they knew how much he used to please her, he thought, amusing himself further.

Suddenly, he heard the door to Michael's office slowly open behind him, along with the footsteps of Michael and Jan.

"Okay everybody, I am going to begin my one to one discussions with each of you now in the conference room. I'll be doing this in alphabetical order over the duration of my visit. So Pam, would you like to join me in the conference room please?" Pam nodded and headed over to the conference room with Jan whilst Michael remained at Jim's desk.

"So, pretty feisty huh?" Michael grinned at Jim. Jim looked up, having zoned out slightly.

"Eh, what?" Jim replied.

"Jan, she's pretty feisty don't you think? Really adds to the hotness," Michael expectantly looked at him.

"Nah, don't really see it myself." Jim said, despite mentally agreeing strongly.

"Seriously? I thought you'd know a hot chick when you saw one Jimmy." Michael answered, surprised.

"She's not my type." Jim said dismissively.

"Huh, whatever you say." Michael replied and walked back into his office.

Jim sighed and leaned back in his chair, putting his hands behind his head. He could vaguely hear Jan and Pam's voices in the conference room and strained to hear them more clearly, but couldn't. He really didn't know what to do. He was soon to be stuck alone in a room with a woman who had meant so much to him and he had no idea how he was going to keep himself acting professionally. He had so much he needed to ask her; how's she been? Is she still with Gould? Although that was kind of answered as she remained Jan Levinson Gould, then again that could be just because she didn't want to go through changing it. No, she's still with him if she's kept her name. He knew he wouldn't get to talk about all this with her, especially now she's his boss, but he wanted more than anything to know.

About 10 minutes later, Pam and Jan came out of the conference room. Pam smiled assuringly at Jim, probably thinking his nervous behaviour since Jan arrived was just because of the pressure of pleasing their new boss, and headed to her desk at reception.

"Creed, could you come into the conference room please?" Jan called across the office, and Creed followed her, shutting the door behind him and they commenced their interview.

Jim tried to compose himself as he felt Pam's eyes on him being restless. He knew there weren't many people left for Jan to talk to before him, but he wished he could barge into the conference room and get everything out in the open with her at that exact moment. The waiting was killing him, he needed to talk to her again, like they used to.

"Are you alright?" Pam asked him as he turned to face her, a look of concern on her face.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just trying to think of how to make the best impression with the new boss, y'know?" he smiled back.

"Wow, Halpert's scared of getting on the wrong foot with someone for once. You'll be fine, everybody loves you." she said, the last phrase coming out incredibly assuring.

"Haha, thanks Beesley." he replied, about to continue until he was interrupted by Creed directly behind him.

"Whoa that new boss is a blast, gotta go make a few calls, laters." he said, hovering behind him for a few more seconds before running into the kitchen.

"Whaat?" Jim exchanged confused looks with Pam and turned back to his desk, until a voice behind him startled him.

"Jim? Could you step into the conference room please? I know Toby should be after Creed but as the HR rep I won't need to speak to him until I've spoken with everyone else anyway."

"Yeah sure," Jim replied coolly, getting up and weakly smiling at Pam who gave him a thumbs up as he proceeded into the conference room behind Jan.

He shut the door and sat down opposite Jan. His heart melted at being so close to her again, and boy, she'd barely changed. She still had those sparkling blue eyes, the luscious blonde hair, even if it was a bit shorter now, those soft lips; her face suddenly became so familiar again. After all the years of memorising her and how she looked, it felt so good to be able to see her in the flesh. As cliché as it sounded, she was even more beautiful than he'd imagined, and he really couldn't accept the fact that she was now his boss and was about to start interviewing him in such a professional manner.

* * *

Jan's first one to one meeting with Michael was going fairly well. Especially well considering how distracted she expected to be seeing Jim again after all these years. Seeing Jim had knocked her completely off guard when she first saw him, but now she was putting the nervous energy into this meeting. They'd been in Michael's office for about half an hour now, and if she was honest, they'd covered pretty much everything that needed to be covered, and more due to Michael's strange excitement about new management.

He seemed like a fairly nice guy, even if he was a bit immature at times, but nevertheless he seemed to be a decent boss who knew exactly what he was doing. He had actually mentioned Jim at one point, describing him as a 'promising salesman who has become a valuable addition to the Scranton sales team'. It was nice to hear Jim being described as someone doing well in his job which would hopefully lead to big things for him. Not that a whole lot could happen to you while in the paper industry. Maybe she could get him up to Corporate to work with her, but that could be risky for many reasons, so maybe Scranton was the best place for him.

Michael was just finishing up a speech he had given Jan about Scranton and its qualities, which she had completely zoned out of, which prompted Jan to bring the meeting to a close.

"Michael, I've thoroughly enjoyed talking to you and I look forward to working with you in the future. I'm now going to proceed with the one to one meetings with your employees. Thank you." She looked over the notes she'd brought to see in which order she'd be holding meetings before stepping out of the office, Michael following her.

"Okay everybody, I am going to begin my one to one discussions with each of you now in the conference room. I'll be doing this in alphabetical order over the duration of my visit. So Pam, would you like to join me in the conference room please?" the receptionist nodded at her from her desk and walked over to follow her into the conference room.

"So Pam, how long have you been at Dunder Mifflin?" Jan asked her as they sat down.

"4 years this fall," Pam replied.

"Impressive, do you enjoy your job?" Jan asked, jotting down some notes.

"As much as you can enjoy being a receptionist." Pam smiled. Jan smiled briefly back.

As Jan continued to interview Pam, she couldn't help but think in the back of her mind how well her and Jim were seemingly getting on when she saw them at his desk. She would've thought they were dating until Pam mentioned being engaged to one of the warehouse workers Roy, and then she saw the engagement ring on her finger. It was a shame though, as Jim seemed pretty smitten with her from what she saw. She didn't want him going through another heartbreak with another married woman.

Their meeting didn't last long, as Jan figured she had quite a few employees to go through, so decided to end her talk with Pam and go out collect Creed, the next employee on the list.

"Thank you Pam, it'll be a pleasure getting to know you as time goes on." Jan said to her before they exited the conference room, shaking her hand whilst doing so.

They exited the conference room and Pam headed back to her desk whilst Jan scanned the room looking for Creed.

"Creed, could you come into the conference room please?" Jan called across the office, and Creed followed her, shutting the door behind him and they commenced their interview.

"Hi Creed.." Jan started, but Creed interrupted her,

"Listen lady, I like my job. I don't want to get fired okay? I'll do anything to make sure I stay. Good, we understand each other, I'll be on my way." Creed said to her quickly, and exited the conference room, leaving Jan sitting in a state of shock. After his quick departure, Jan checked her notes to see who was next to meet with. Jim. She wasn't really ready to be with him one to one, alone in a small room together. It wasn't the fact that wouldn't be able to resist him after so long or anything, it would be too much emotionally to have to sit and talk to him professionally without bringing up the past. She took a deep breath as she stood up to exit the conference room and invite Jim to join her for their meeting.

"Jim? Could you step into the conference room please? I know Toby should be after Creed but as the HR rep I won't need to speak to him until I've spoken with everyone else anyway." She asked calmly, trying to contain her nerves.

"Yeah sure," Jim replied as he got up and followed her into the conference room.

Jan really wasn't sure what she was going to say first. Well, obviously it had to be related to business, but come on, it was Jim Halpert in there with her. He meant so much to her and it killed her that she hadn't seen him in so long, and now here she was as his boss. It was a shame this was what would bring them together again for the first time, but it was better than not seeing him again. She couldn't believe they were meeting again though. He hadn't changed all that much, he looked a lot more mature than he did, and he was still as gorgeous as the first time she saw him. As Jan sat down opposite him at the table, she racked her brain for some way to start a conversation and break the obvious tension that had built up between them in such a short space of time.


	9. Author's Note

Okay guys, incredibly sorry for not updating in ages. I've been so busy with school/revision/exams, then I got my social life back (woo!) and then I had a busy work experience week before going on holiday so I've had like no time to write at all. I've also kinda got writer's block with this story but I have a positive feeling about getting into the story again once I sit down and write. I'll try and start the next chapter within the week so I can get updating again and hopefully finish the story before I begin year 11 (last year of school in England) in a month or so. So yeah, sorry about the wait, that's if you're actually interested in the story.


	10. Author's Note 2

Hi guys! Again, if you're interested in this story, I am so so sorry for not updating! I had no idea how much work year 11 would bring so I literally have no time for updates. When I next have some spare time, I may begin working on the next chapter or two and I'll try and get something published asap. I'm making no promises on when it'll be though. So yeah, sorry again and don't give up on me :')


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